So lately I have been walking around feeling like i am in a bubble and I can't get out. This is not the norm for me. I am a fly by night, fly by the seat of my pants, spontaneous kinda girl. i don't give much thought or even a second thought to much of anything not even what i am saying...i think it, it comes out and 1/2 the time i want to shove it back in my mouth. You want to jump out of a plane...okay let's do it...yeah that's me. BUT lately I have been giving things a second thought. I have been thinking about how i really can't name 10 good things or habits about me which is sad. it is sad to me because again i don't pay attention to the small stuff. I never have. I can name 100 things about O'neil or "Elizabeth but not me. That really is a eye opener. Is it that I pay attention to everybody else and not myself? is it that I am scared if I pay attention to myself i might want to change things. Although there is things i do want to change, nothing major just minor changes.
but speaking to my best friend yesterday really makes me realize I have a great life with great friends and i need to accept me for me and not change anything about me. that is what makes us who we are as individuals. And i also need to realize i cannot change oneil as much as i would like to change 2536595 things about him that annoy the shit out of me. With that said i go back 10 years ago when there was nothing i would have wanted to change about him. i think as time goes on we all change in one way or the other sometimes for the good sometimes to annoy the spouse...whatever the case maybe we need to accept it and move on. And from this day forward I am going to just accept that O'neil is anal in everything and that no matter how many times i flip my wig, lose my marbles scream and cuss, raise hell and get my blood pressure up...he is still NOT going to rinse the damn dishes after he eats like i ask. This has been a 10 year battle so I am just letting it go and moving on. I have very few quirks and i mean very few (compared to some people, love ya girl) but the freaking dishes is one of them. That will send me into more of a fit than anything i can think of right now.
I am breaking out my journal and i am going to start journaling my thoughts. i have never done this before so i am starting now. i think sometimes we all need to get in touch with the serious side but for me it is hard. I am a cut up, i am a jokester, pretty laid back until i really get fired up then i am like a cyclone. i think that is the gemini in me....i have split personalities...which is why i made this layout to begin with...lol
Okay enough nonsense...I'll be back finally later with some turkey day pics...I didn't take as many as I wante dtoo and damn it...didn't get one of the whole family either like i wanted.... ;(
19 comments:
Hopefully you'll wake up tomorrow and feel better about everything. I think writing really helps. Gets it out of you so you can move on! Good luck.
I love to journal - it's a good place for me to bitch about all the things that drive me nuts about my guy. And then I don't have to bitch at him so much;)
i hope tomorrow is better for you. writing is a good vent, especially when you press really, really hard with your pen or on the keyboard (and type in all CAPS)...
your goodies are ready and going out with tomorrow's mail. thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
rinsing the dishes sucks!!
ya know the reason why i can prolly name 192347300222978 things about me is b/c i love to talk about myself ;) kidding (well ya know not really) but as you know my mind is constantly going. i'm constantly thinking. constantly trying to figure things out and friggin' analyze. you're not really like that. so don't look at it like its terribly sad that you can't do that, you just haven't reached that point where you're really intuned with your emotional self. does that even make sense??? lol.
i'm glad to see that you'll be putting that journal i gave ya to use and maybe that will help ya accomplish the change in yourself that you are seeking.
*mwah i love you!
now about that comment directed at me...{wink wink}
i think journaling is good, might help you get some of that nonsense going on in your head out of there! i can mention three wonderful qualities right away...funny, talented and passionate ;)
cheers!
I've had a diary or journal since I was about 12 and Alex refers to them as my bash him books, but if I didn't get it out in writing, then I would just scream my head off all the time.
When I write I tend to think deeper, analyze more, think it through...kwim? Totally helps me.
And I am on a be positive goal for 2008...wanna join me?
Love the LO.
Girl, that's everyone's hubby! :) Get a pretty journal and it makes it more fun. And that scrapbook page is freaking brilliant! You're so darn creative!
I've had all of these same thought before and am also a fly by the seat of my pants sort of gal but hang in there. Those thoughts are all perfectly normal and are just part of getting older. If after 10 yr. the hubby still won't rinse his dishes then it's probably time to let that battle go even though you might feel as if you're losing. It's just not worth it.
simone, i am cracking my ass up over your comment...."bash him books"...bwahahahahaa!
"This has been a 10 year battle so I am just letting it go and moving on." Probably one of the best decisions a spouse can make. Not one I make much though, mind you!
I'm not sure whether being able to name 10 good things about oneself off the top of your head is, in itself all that good; I mean, it could just indicate you think about yourself too much maybe. I think everyone ought to be able to name at least 1 good thing about themselves, of course, and maybe 5 is a good target number, but better that you can name the good things and focus on the good things in other people, which you can do! (And, you know, that in itself is a good thing about you!)
Hang in there.
I say, have your hubby eat on paper plates. Then you can just throw them in the recycle bin and be done with it. No rinsing.
I like Connie's idea! PAper plates solves everything!!! I am married to a gemini.....he is totally split personality...one minute a big softie, the next minute screaming his head off! But he does wash dishes!
I'm glad you were able to write, to get it all out-- it's hard when you hold things in. Your friend is right-- there is nothing wrong with you, and if you do look inside, and find something you aren't happy with, don't be afraid to change it. It might be an on-going work-in-progress-, but hey, sometimes it takes time-- Just know we love you as you are, and we have annoying husband's too, who no matter how much we bitch, cry, scream, ect-- won't do the things we'd LOVE for them to do-- so vent away with us! *hugs and love*
girl, I am the same way.
love the journal idea.
(also lmao at the comment you left me! have a great weekend!)
Remember this: You always have to take care of you. If you give and give to those that you love, you'll have nothing left at the end of the day. take some you time. Journaling is a great idea. It will be SO AMAZING to take a look back and look at who you were then.
Journaling has helped me immensely. As much as I love to scream at the top of my lungs esp at the person who has pi$$ed me of, I realized it was doing any good except making 2 people miserable. So I write and sometimes then I tear it out or burn what I just wrote..its actually very therapeutic for me : )
But I think I'm going to rename it the bast book..that cracked me up!
All the best!
errrr am I gonna have to coem bail your ass out of jail? I mean I know Oneil works there an all but dang just bash him in the head and get it over with girl. bwahahahahahaha
I can name 576382893093 things i love about ya SO THERE! smoocha
We use paper plates. I'm the lazy ass that won't rinse the plates.
Journaling really does help. I have kept a diary since I was in 2nd grade. Can you imagine how pornographic it turned when I got out of high school?
Seriously though, I wish you bitches lived closer. We would totally fucking party like rock stars.
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